In just a few short weeks, my family of four will soon become a family of five. Our daughter will be here before we know it. It is true what they say- with every subsequent pregnancy, the time actually spent pregnant speeds by faster and faster. I feel like I just got that positive test, sitting in my bathroom one September morning before going to a pumpkin patch with my family.
Those Sweet, Quiet Days
It is also true that with every subsequent pregnancy, you spend less and less time preparing. Not by choice, necessarily, but by necessity. As a third time mom, I know that all a newborn truly needs are some cozy sleepers (zipper only, please!), diapers and wipes, and either boob or bottle. I have all of that, so I spent most of this pregnancy chasing after my 3 year and 1.5 year old boys. It was not spent sitting in an empty nursery, picking out paint colors and dreaming of sweet, quiet days rocking the new baby.
I will be honest: it feels bittersweet that I didn’t make more time for those special quiet moments. I’m coming up on the end, and I wish I made more time to really sit into this pregnancy. As a third time mom, I immerse myself in keeping my house running and my children alive, and sometimes I forget that I am also pregnant- with my first daughter, our last baby.
But I don’t want to forget these moments. My pregnancies with R & N seem like distant memories now. I know that in a year, my memories for this pregnancy with this baby will also begin to fade. Even though I have done it three times now, every kick and thump is just as special. I love watching my belly grow and feeling my babies roll around, and I don’t want to wonder if I took the time to savor all of that.
That is it, though. That is the plight of the third time mom. You are smack dab between taking care of your Earthside babies and all the exhaustion and love that comes with that, and being desperate for more time to yourself to enjoy another pregnancy. There were days that I didn’t even THINK about this pregnancy or this baby because I was so busy doing laundry, filling sippy cups, and fetching snacks.
Now here I am, a few short weeks away from her June due date, wondering if I did all I could to cement these days in my memory.
I suppose that will be my plight until my babies are grown up, though. Did I take the time to enjoy each moment of their little lives, even the hard, exhausting ones? Did I take it all in when they are running around our backyard, chasing bubbles and our dogs?
The funny thing about this plight is– that it isn’t a plight at all. I am beyond blessed to even have this concern of “how do I love and enjoy three children with all my heart?” This plight of parenting is inextricably linked to the joys of parenting, of motherhood. I have to make a promise to myself to sink more deeply into these moments, and to do my best each day to savor the season I am in.
Recently, I began thinking that my nights are soon going to be filled with feeding and changing a newborn again. That little pang of anxiety appeared, when you know nights of no sleep are upon you. I then remembered that both R & N started sleeping through the night around 5 months old. I reminded myself that it is such a short period of time that they are that little and so dependent on me. Before I can blink, she will be running around the backyard with her brothers and her dogs.
These seasons are simply too short. I have to slow down and take it all in, even as a third time mom.
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