Strangers, Please Don’t Touch My Kid’s Curly Hair

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I get a lot of compliments on my children’s curly hair (which they got from me by the way).

And while I appreciate all the kind words about their curls, strangers, please stop touching my kid’s hair.

In a world of me too and all the terrible things that happen to children in the world, I am trying to teach my kids about boundaries.

And as a school counselor, I’m teaching your kids the importance of their personal space, and that their body belongs to them.

When you as the adult, reach over and touch their hair, you are telling them that your curiosity is more important than their need for personal space.

You are putting my child in an awkward position because I teach them to be polite and respectful and they don’t want to be rude to you or hurt your feelings. And you are putting me in an awkward position. I now have to advocate for my child and you will probably look at me confused. Or think that I am being over the top.

Did you know that curly hair tangles easily when it is manipulated constantly? That it is best styled while wet?

My kids are little and it’s difficult for them to explain all that to you. And they shouldn’t have to.

And stranger, thank you for complimenting my children. I think they are pretty great too.

But please don’t fetishize my kids simply because they are biracial. They are so much more than their skin color.Trust me, because people are constantly telling them how beautiful their skin is and how jealous they are of their tan, they are starting to question why people talk about it so much.

They are internalizing what I’m sure you mean to be kind words, and I have to explain to them why people are so obsessed. Even though they are small, they understand that it’s more than just a compliment.

If you have questions about hair care, I will point you in the right direction. I’ll share what has worked for my family, as my kids and I have different curl patterns.

But stranger, please, stop touching my kid’s curly hair.


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