Apologies & Motherhood Guilt: The Never-Ending Story

 

Since becoming a mother, I’ve made more apologies that I can count. Sorry to my friends, family, coworkers, husband (you get the idea).

Balancing it all becomes a challenge, especially with each additional child that you add to the equation. Motherhood forces us to prioritize, then reprioritize as situations arise. Here is a list of people that I’ve had to say sorry to:

Husband

At the end of the evening when the kids are in bed, my husband and I enjoy quiet time together.

Sometimes, I don’t make it to the quiet time.

If I make the mistake of sitting on the couch too long after dinner, I never make it to bathtime and he takes over. On occasion when he works late, I take care of it all—the chaos of dinner and bedtime. After bedtime, I fall asleep myself. He comes home expecting to talk with me, and the evening is over.

I’ve apologized for being too tired for him.




Boss

Before having kids, my attendance at work was great!

In fact, I’ve even earned perfect attendance a few times. After children, we all know that changes, beginning with doctor’s appointments while pregnant.

Last year my father in law passed away and I was out of work for a week. My principal was very understanding.

I prepared to return to work, both of my children got pink eye. Thankfully it wasn’t passed to me, but that meant that I missed more work.

I’ve also been late to work more times that I care to admit. Having a new baby, a toddler experiencing night terrors, a tantrum in the morning, or a child who kicks you in the back all night after joining you in bed accounts for some sleepless nights that carry over into the next morning.

Friends

I’ve been a pretty social person all my life. I enjoy dinner and shopping dates with my girlfriends and have always prided myself on being the one who doesn’t cancel last minute.

We all know that life happens. With motherhood, the unexpected becomes the new normal.

Someone poops all over their clothes as you’re headed out the door.

The baby spits up on your shirt.

Your toddler throws up all over themselves or the car seat.

Or, you’re simply exhausted from balancing work, motherhood, and your marriage, so you cancel.

Houseguests

How many times do you have company and you spend half the time apologizing to them for the appearance of your house?

The crayons on the floor.

The shoes and socks they step over.

The dishes in the sink.

The toys on the bathroom sink.




Car

Before kids, you loved getting your car detailed. You gave anyone who dared drop a crumb the side eye.

Now, you shake your head as you look in the rearview mirror and see your toddler dump their snack container onto the floor of the car. Or you scream.

You sigh when your parents make comments about how messy your vehicle is.

You apologize to your coworker when they carpool with you to a meeting.

Yourself

At times you’re so busy taking care of everyone else, that you neglect yourself.

You gain weight.

You lose sleep.

Your fashion sense suffers.

You walk out the house with one earring.

You forget to wear deodorant…..again.

Who have you made apologies to since becoming a mother?

For more motherhood experiences, click here. 

 

About Diedre

FullSizeRenderDiedre Anthony is a full time school counselor, mother and wife. She is a monthly contributor at The Everyday Mom Life and on her blog Are Those Your Kids?, she focuses on her experiences raising her biracial girls in an interracial marriage. Her posts are filled with helpful tips about raising children, diversity, curly hair as well as entertaining stories and anecdotes. Several of her posts have been published by the Huffington Post.

 

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